Nostalgic + Refreshing!

It's been a while since everything...
It's been a while since I......
last update this blog,
last sulk/mourn,
last read a book,
last spending quality alone time,
last reflect on my life.

So..... yesterday came just in time. It was the first day after my 2nd teaching semester ended, and I was alone in the house I rented (Landlady was away for the weekend) without any plans made with friends. It was an interesting experience like I said earlier, it's been a while since I spent quality alone time without having to think about work. So without the distractions of work, friends and family, I was able to fully focus on myself and it felt weird.

In the beginning, it was good! I get to sleep in, stay in bed for a really long time. Then it came. It started of with just a tiny hole and I'd chose to ignore it until the moment I realize it's a small black hole that is slowly expanding, absorbing all the happiness into it and it was too late for me to do anything to prevent it. It forced me to do something that I myself can't believe I gave in to it. I started to pity myself. I started to freak out, thinking about what have I done to myself?! Why did I choose to come back? Why did I choose this job? Why is it so hard to adjust? all the Why questions with really negative answers to it.... to the extend it felt like I was mourning the end of my happening/adventurous life.....yeah that's how bad it was....

So I was sulking and mass texting my friends on how I'm turning into a lifeless working adult (yeah like that would change anything other than making it worse haha) to a point where I got so tired of my own self-pity and sulking I decided to make some changes. YES! Important reminder to self: If you want changes you have to start doing things differently, that's the first step to any kind of change! 

so I changed, put on shoes and decide to go out for a walk. I wanted to look for Sabrina and head to the beach together but I forgot which house she's in so I gave up after circling her area for five minute. I did a 40minute power walk and my FitBit increase rapidly from 1 dot to 4! woot woot! I felt great after the walk, explored a few places and ended up in an Indian restaurant, the legendary Arati that my colleagues have been talking about. I bought a lot of food from the restaurant and head back home. Sat outside the house and enjoyed my dinner while reading Tuesdays with Morrie. It's such a good book! With loads of lessons pack in one tiny book. Got a call from Hannah in between requesting for healing prayers. She wanted me to read Psalm 132 to her and declare sickness to be gone. And I did! She felt much better after. Praise the Lord! By the time the sky turns dark, I am halfway through the book! It is a light reading material yet at the same time packed with loads of things that makes you think about your life. I concluded my night with a warm shower and head to bed right after that.

Bring alone is not scary, feeling lonely is the scary part. I realized I'd forgotten how much fun it can be to spend time on your own reflecting on life. It felt great and refreshing! I should do this more often =)

Love,
Hexen Ong