So, realize that if I were to continue the blog from where I missed will be an impossible job and will make me lose more motivation to blog. Instead, I should just do it. Sometimes, we keep putting off things (at least in my case) because we want to make it perfect when we have more time. However, more time will never happen because everyone has the equal amount of time and if something is important enough to us, we will make time for it.
Oh yeah, I just sounded philosophical there, take that!
*swag
So.... what happened last Tuesday?
I woke up to an early morning presentation, it was a really big 40min group presentation. However, I wasn't stress at all for many reasons. #seniordesensitization is one of them. Well, there have been countless presentations in the past and all these years of practice finally paid off. #efficientfourthyears is another one of them. I had one of the strongest team in my all four years of sch and I'm blessed to be part of it. We pretty much just made a list of things to do and everyone sign up for it. No disagreement, no trying to do everything person (in a more southeastasian term, kiasu), no slacker, no drama (well a little bit, but more like funny interactions). We just met up 4 times and vuala!
Efficiency FTW!!
Manage to catch a word with the TA after the presentation. It was a really good chat. There are so many things that she pointed out about street health. It's one thing to learn it from the textbooks, it's another to apply it to real life with so many variables, context being one of the bigger factors. Been thinking about what am I doing after I graduate. So many uncertainties and helplessness. I felt like God is saying, how much do you trust me? Honestly? I don't know God, but I am up for the challenge. I know I just need to cling on to the fact that You are a loving God and You have the best plans for me.
The Loving God is our Provider
Matthew 6:25-34
After the talk with my TA, I walked past the library to head to the bus stop for my hospital shift. I would usually met up with Mirriam in her cubicle before heading off to the bus stop, but I guess I was late and she left. However, I met Nina!! =D After 1 month of missing each other at the bus stop, I can finally see her! Note to self: bring Mango tomorrow =D Nina is this Venezuelian lady that I first met her at the bus stop. She is a lovely lady. She's always there to take the bus at that time. Meeting ppl like her makes me feel less scared about routine, in fact, it's rather comforting to know what's happening next (Although it was a pleasant surprise to see her last Tuesday! haha). She gave me her email address so I can continue to email her when I'm back in Malaysia. I will never forget the line she always say with a motherly tone when I exit the bus:"take care yeah!" Still remember one of the weeks where right after she said that I slipped, she was so concerned and every time she will look me in the eye and say that making sure I heard her.
Routine is good
Went to the hospital as usual and fed the same lady that I would usually fed. I'm starting to get really comfortable feeding her. Learning her habits and her preference. She loves dessert, she tends to drink a little too fast so every time she drinks I have to remind her to take it slow and don't forget to breathe. When she is licking her lips it means she's ready for the next bite. She sometimes will doze off so I need to constantly talk to her. She's like a grandmother figure to me, feeding her while sharing my day, felt like God gave me a second chance to do what I'd missed when I was younger. She never spoke. However, last Tuesday, when I finish feeding her, she took a deep breathe and spoke softly: "thanks". It took her so much effort to say that and I felt so appreciated. I really really encourage ppl to give more time to volunteering because it taught me so much. It taught me to appreciate small little things that might took a lot of effort from other, it taught me to be grateful, it taught me simple actions has big meanings, it taught me how to show love and express love, it taught me how to understand a person with my heart and observing eyes. I still remember the first day feeding her, I was so clumsy, spilling food all over the place and on her bib. As time goes on, I learned and adjust and now it's almost zero spillage! (ok, you are dealing with Hexen that can fall off a couch because she was trying to place some stuff on the table, broke all the gingerbread houses that everyone made because she was trying to fix one of the roofs here, what are the chances for zero spillage? this is how much I'd improved!!)
The paradox of life: the more you give the more you receive
Only the losers win; they've got nothin' to lose - switchfoot
You find your life by losing it, you win by losing.
Matthew 10:39
Went to the Boys and Girls Club in the afternoon to carry out the final evaluation. The youths were very cooperative this time. They were raising hands giving their feedback on the program we'd implemented for the last 4 weeks. One big thing that I learned in these four years is that different people have different ways of expressing love. One of the boys especially, M, was giving us a headache in the beginning of the program, it's one thing he doesn't want to participate it's another thing he participated by creating loads of trouble. However, last week, I was amazed by how much he learned and how much he contributed in the final evaluation. M missed us and him participating fully in the final evaluation is his way of showing us love. Still remember how the staff was asking us to come back because the youths refused to listen to him but us.
There are different expressions of love,
use your heart to identify it.
Borrowed a guitar from Joe Mills. Unfortunately, they ran out of bags and had to give me the hard case. It was really really bulky. Became a part time delivery guy, took orders from friends that wanted KFC because I was close to one and it was toonie tuesday (it's 2.99, not exactly toonie, more like loony toonie tuesday). I had chicken on one hand and guitar on the other. Walking back was painful. I kept on switching hands to juggle the weight. On the Nth time I switched hands, a grandfather looking guy came up and offered to help me with the guitar. Kingstonians' hospitality are so real and legit. People are really friendly here and I am really blessed to be part of this community. This wasn't the first time people helped me carrying stuff, I remember I was doing groceries once and on my way home, my tote bag broke and I had to drag the bag home. A guy came up and helped me till the bus stop! This is why I love small towns compare to big cities. I know it's fairly quiet in a small town, but it's so safe and people are so friendly.
A small gesture goes a long way.
Like literally, because of his small gesture, I get to rest my arms.
Arrived home without breaking my arms.
Well as you can see, I had a long day, after dinner, I crashed with a mild fever and my housemate, Ryan was so sweet to make me tea. my first year res neighbor, love him to bits. Our birthdays are one day apart too! Just like me and kokomo =D
We need friends.
Anyways, it's 3:30am now, 3 more hours to my routine Tuesdays!! =D Looking forward to it.
PS: on my way to the hospital, the sky was filled with birds migrating back from the cold, it was a really magnificent sight, so many black arrows in the sky. Apparently birds flew that way because it's more aerodynamic (don't ask me where I got this fact or whether this fact is true because I have no idea and I'm too lazy to google it up =P)
Stumble across this when I was writing my blog: http://goinswriter.com/get-from-giving/
